Attempted murder! wrong place wrong time

Attempted murder! Wrong place wrong time

If you have read any of my other stories you will be aware that I moved out of London at 19 to a village in the Hertfordshire Bedfordshire border. You may also be aware that I had some problems settling in initially.

But in my time there (which was only about 2 years) I did manage to make a few friends even amongst a few of the local lads.

My main friend was a Rasta named Pat; I was also friendly with a guy named Paul (lovingly referred to as silly Paul) who was actually from Southampton.

We tended to hang around together because we wasn’t from the village and we used to wash cars or windows and general labouring work where we could get it.

As time went on though, we did get to know a fair few of the local lads. There was a guy named Bert (who lived in the brickyard) Charlie who’s mum owned the kennels Chris who was a mechanic Sergio and his brother (whose name escapes me). There was a fair few others but the guys named are the ones who are part of this story.

The village I lived in had a fair few pubs but this was at a time when the pubs closed in the afternoon and last orders was 11pm.

If you wanted a late night drink the place to go was Hitchin which to be fair was quite a happening town, especially for a small town.

The other way to get a later drink was to go to many of the local clubs which had events going on.

On this particular night Pat silly Paul and me was all in my dad’s pub having a few beers. Pat also had his mate with him who had come up from London (I will call him Keith for reasons that will be obvious later).

Time was getting on and last orders was close when in walked Charlie Bert and Chris.

As we got on they joined us Chris had his girlfriend with him and she went over and sat with Caroline who had also come up for the weekend from Essex.

I didn’t need to go anywhere else for a late drink to be honest as my dad always let a select few stay behind for a private drink.

On this occasion though Charlie, was making a bit of a case for going to one of the other villages, to their football club night.

There was a bit of talk about a guy being there who Charlie wanted to intimidate but to be honest I really didn’t take a lot of notice of that.

We must have got a couple of taxis as there was about six of us, and within 10 minutes there we were outside the club.

(These football clubs are actually village non-league teams but they do have very good club houses attached to them and there was always open all day)

We walked inside the club and it was a bit like a western with everyone looking. Nobody said anything as we ordered our drinks, and nobody said anything as we played on the pool table which had been pushed into a corner.

The guy that Charlie had an issue with was not actually there so everything seemed fine.

I don’t think we were even there for very long before we decided to make a move off home.

The layout of the club was very simple there was a large hall with a stage at the far end. In front of the stage was a dance floor. On the right hand side of the hall was a large bar area.

At the opposite end from the stage was the only entrance/exit. This opened out into a lobby area which housed the toilets.

As I walked into the lobby area I was in the middle of the group I was with, however blocking our way at one end was several people and then behind us came several other people!

I actually have no idea why these guys were there or what they thought was going to happen as far as I was concerned we were on our way home.

So to me for no reason it kicked off. This was a fairly limited space to have a tear up in but a tear up commenced.

It was mayhem arms flying everywhere. Somehow I found myself having my jumper pulled over my head by someone which had the effect of making me bend over towards the floor.

In my mind I could see myself getting a kicking (been there done that) and so with all my strength I pulled myself back and in an upward motion. Without looking I lashed out punching my attacker on the nose. As they stumbled back Pat came crashing back through the double doors grabbing them by the hair dragging them outside.

As I followed them out it was at this point that I realised that this was a woman! A big tough woman, but a woman all the same.

The altercation lasted all but a few minutes in truth and we all managed to get away unscathed. I did lose an earring that night (don’t judge me it was the fashion of the time) Pulled out of my ear by that big fucking bitch.

So when I got back home Caroline instantly saw the blood down my very nice Pringle jumper! She was not impressed.

“You went out looking for trouble, you and that Charlie and his mates”.

“No no I just went for a few beers I have no idea why it kicked off” I assured her

“Yeah alright I believe ya thousands wouldn’t” she turned her back on me.

My mum was a prude and Caroline and I had separate rooms so off I skulked to mine.

Nothing was mentioned the next day we went about our routine, this included going off to local car boot sales. Caroline and I were saving up to try and get a place of our own and so in those days selling your crap at a booty was a good option.

(there was no eBay then and nobody knew the real value of stuff they were selling)

On our way walking along the road was my mate Pat and his mate Keith who was dragging his bag along with him. I gave them a toot and Pat waved. Keith looked a bit sheepish kept his head down and kept walking. I though it odd but not too out of the ordinary.

Keith had been staying with Pat for a while and I was unaware that he was leaving.

The rest of the day went to plan. We did our boot sale had a roast at home few beers in the afternoon kip and then a few more in the evening.

I don’t recall why but Caroline was not going back to Essex that night as she normally would, so would be there in the morning.

0700 my bedroom door flew open as did my eyes with shock “what the fuck” I uttered those immortal words much to the distaste of my poor mum who was stood there accompanied by a lanky great cooper.

 “Get up and get dressed young man, we need a word with you” the copper said in his most condescending voice.

“Why what’s going on”? I replied as innocently as I could.

You hear it said on TV all the time but for me it’s still an all-time classic “You will be helping us with our enquiries” he replied (Classic!)

Even back then I slept in the buff so there was a moment of Mexican standoff, clearly the copper was not going anywhere so I had the embarrassment of trying to put a pair of my pants on under the covers after the embarrassment of my mum going through my cupboard to get me a pair.

Once my pants were on up I got (no morning glory thank fuck) and so Jeans trainers and a jumper were grabbed and thrown on. Lead by the arm down the hall passing my dad (not impressed), my girlfriend (also not impressed and knowing) and my mum who asked if she could come with me.

“No madam he is an adult, don’t worry we will take care of him” (piss taking fucker).

The waiting car was a mini metro, which if you don’t know is a very small car of the 80s. Here I am sat in the back of this little vehicle with the lanky copper sat in the front with the seat right back. I am not a tall person by any stretch but during that journey my knees were in my chest.

I am positive this was done on purpose!

I was driven to Bedford police station which was about 45 minutes away from where I lived. I had never been there before so had no idea where I was.

Taken directly to the cells shoe laces and belt removed. This was the first time I had ever been in a cell proper, it is what you see on TV. A bed, bog, graffiti, steel door and hatch. It is not a pleasant place to be I promise you that.

As I sat there wondering what was actually going to happen I heard a shout from the other cell.

“Who else is here” was the cry. One by one it became clear that the police on mass had come to the village and picked all of us up who were there on the Saturday night.

There was one notable exception, Keith!

“Why are we all here? It was just a fight” was the common view. But it was at this point that it became clear something had happened.

“I was told someone was stabbed” Charlie informed us.

I went and sat down on the bed. Oh shit this could be bad was the only thought running through my mind at that point.

It wasn’t too long before I was taken to interview; I had been interviewed by the police before many years previously so I was aware of how this was going to play out.

They tell you very little that is true, they make you think everyone is blaming it on you and they cover you in guilt.

So here I am sat across a table facing a plain clothes copper, his tack was to be friendly and understanding.

So he starts off with “Lee you’re here this morning as we are investigating an attempted murder” I couldn’t quite grasp the sentence first off, it kind of took the wind out of my sails. I was not expecting that, not at all.

“As you can see attempted murder is a very serious charge and so I urge you to tell us all you know” he continued.

I explained that we had gone to the club for a few beers (not that Charlie was looking for someone didn’t think that would go down too well.) I also told him that as we left there was a bit of a scuffle as we left and that was that.

“Well, someone stabbed a gentleman in the club that night, he is in hospital fighting for his life” he said.

“He is having to have his spline removed and his wife is having a baby”

There is was the guilt trip and as it turned out the over exaggeration (I won’t say lies).

“So come on who stabbed him”? The others have said you are the one who would know”

There it was the everyone blaming it on me card.

“Why would I know any more than anyone else”? “I don’t know anything there was a fight I didn’t even know there was a stabbing until you said.

“Well Lee it’s like this, if nobody says who it was you will all be charged together and face the court as one”

I had actually had some friends from Slough through my football days, who were involved in a nightclub brawl which ended with someone dying. They were all charged with Murder and were actually convicted. So I knew this part was true.

Even so I did not know about the stabbing until that day so what could I say?

I was busting for a piss by this point, as most of you will know when you get up the first thing you do is go for a piss. As I had been dragged from my pit and driven 45 minutes away and sat in a cell by this point my bladder was bursting.

Now here comes the problem, yes I could go to the loo but a copper was going to be stood beside me. The big problem for me is I can’t go with someone watching!

I have no idea why but I am shy when I piss! Is it just me then? Anyway I digress. But the other issue was that I broke my zip on my jeans as well!

So not only was I facing a potential attempted murder charge but I am busting unable to go with my pants hanging out of my jeans! (Priorities)

“OK then Lee if you don’t know about the stabbing who punched the lady?”

Fuck sake could this get any worse?

“What lady? I didn’t see any ladies in the fight?” not strictly a lie, bending the truth maybe but she weren’t no fucking lady!

“Come on Lee we know you didn’t stab the fella but we need someone to name names. We have you all here, all but one and your all saying the same. It was Keith wasn’t it”? Here was his final play.

“Well if you have all of us here apart from him, and the others are staying it’s him then I don’t see what you need from me? The rest of us haven’t run”.

And so the interview ended there, they knew what they wanted anyway. Clearly they knew who had committed the crime but they had left it a day too late. Keith had known what he did and so that’s why he skipped town. Pat must have also been aware, maybe not at the time but certainly the day after. It was his mate though so I can understand his loyalty.

By mid-afternoon Bert and I were the last to be thrown out of the station. Unfortunately I had no wallet on me so, no money. I asked the question “How do I get home then I aint got any money”.

Guess what the desk sergeant’s answer was? Yeah you’ve got it “That’s your problem son”.

Luckily for me Bert did have money on him he had the foresight to bring cash with him and so after a swift pint in the nearest pub we found her way to the bus garage and eventually our way home.

As it turned out there was a guy who was stabbed, he wasn’t getting married with a baby and he was not near death. He made a full recovery.

He had been in the thick of the fight. Not saying he deserved to be stabbed nobody does but he was not innocent.

None of us were ever charged with anything relating to the fight. Keith disappeared to London, however he was arrested a couple of years after the event and he was prosecuted. He served time in prison for the offence.

You never know what goes on in other people’s minds; you never know what their intentions could be. You also never know what the implications could be for you.

This situation could have played out very differently and my friends and I could have spent a large part of our life locked up.

As on many occasions in my youth wrong place wrong time, and there but for the grace of god go I.